(this post has been chopped and copied form various sources, with a hint of my “assholishness”)
Modern testosterone levels are low. Good natured brawls have sadly taken a back seat to Dr. Phil and man-emotions. In fact, “Researchers in the US are finding testosterone levels to be substantially lower — by about 15 to 20% — than they were fifteen years ago. A man born in 1970, for example, had about 20 percent less testosterone at 35 than a man of his father’s generation at the same age.” (Newswire)
Testosterone is not evil. Women, along with weak men, say we have too much of it. Testosterone is actually a tremendously good thing. It improves, among other things:
vocabulary (most notably words with more than 6 letters)
sex drive
aggression
physical strength
longevity
competitive spirit
metabolism
energy
… also reducing the levels of bullshit in your life like:
depression
anxiety
preoccupation with money
thoughts of death
There are a lot of ways to increase your test levels. Here are some that I found:
Win, and root for winners. Testosterone increases in winners, helping them to push harder for greater advantage. Rooting for losers results in a marked reduction in test levels. So, don’t be a loser! Be competitive and fucking WIN!
I wanna show called “The Biggest Winner.” Fuck Losers
Be fucking aggressive. Doing aggressive shit makes you more aggressive, and testosterone is positively correlated with aggression and helps overcome the effects of fear. I AM NOT advocating you walk into Hollister and punch the first douchebag in the face. That might make your balls bigger….but I’m NOT telling you to do that.
Aggression is what makes great men what they are, and without aggression, we’d still be living in caves, afraid of everything and nibbling on bamboo shoots. To become more aggressive, all you really have to do is surround yourself with aggressive things. Some studies have shown that violent sports and other entertainments increase one’s levels of aggression, and likewise exposure to other aggressive people increases aggression. Watching violent movies, and hanging out with people into the same shit will increase your levels of aggression and thereby make you far more immune to fear.
Handle a gun. This makes you more aggressive. Plus it’s cool as shit. Go shoot somewhere. There is nothing like firing rounds down range, opening a can of chaos and wrecking shit.
Wear Red and Black. These colors can boost your test levels. How? Because the A-Team’s van was red and black, dumbass!
Listening to music can raise test levels. Turn that shit up.
On a side note I want to punch Josh Groban in the face.
FUCKTARD!
In short, raise your test levels. Be BIG, Be STRONG, Be FAST!